continued from spirit_home:

I went skiing with a friend last weekend and we discussed fear in the context of, well, skiing. In particular, about the fear that grips you when you imagine pointing your skis down the mountain and completely losing control, crashing into trees and people, with the inevitable result of possibly dying, or at least breaking a leg and being carted to the emergency room by some cute ski patrol guy. (Well, maybe that part wouldn't be so bad.). My friend is a new skier but I've been skiing for nearly 30 years and I still had that fear as I stood at the top of my first steep-chute black diamond of the season (photo attached). Sometimes fear is a good thing: instinctual, animalistic.

But usually it's much less drastic. Being out of control is one of those things I'm afraid of, and people thinking I'm not good enough, even if I'm doing something new which is when you usually get a break if you're clueless . Sometimes fear happens in the most benign situations like asking for directions in a foreign country. Clearly my life is not at stake but who wants to look or sound like an idiot? Fear is often this subtle engine running in the background as we attempt to find some way around it. For me this can come in the form of over-controlling things or just staying silent. Occasionally I barrel my way through the fear. Sometimes I just scream.

In various discussions about fear, my cohorts and I explored not only what we're afraid of, but how fear impacts areas of our lives and what we do about it. We talked about bravery. Being that Type A, self-realization sort, I'm not just interested in discussing problems or emotions: I want some kind of transformation. I may not actually do anything different right away, but I like to have the full picture. In her book The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times , author Pema Chodron says 'Lean into the sharp points and fully experience them. The essence of bravery is being without self-deception. Wisdom is inherent in (understanding) emotions.'

The truth is, once you know more about something than you used to know, you can't help but see things differently. So Pema's advice fits for me.

Here are some thoughts about dealing with fear and bravery, taken from some great cardio therapy discussions. Perhaps they'll contribute to your own already-wonderful wisdom. And thanks for reading my first Full Moon musing. Somehow it helps my fear to think that someone out there gets something from what I write.

**Got fear? Try compassionately respecting it. Maybe there's good reason for your fear. Consider what the fear is really about and how it came to be there. Is it appropriate in the current situation? How can the fear be your teacher?

** Give yourself bravery-type pep talks. This goes like, "I can do this. Take it slow, go a little  past the comfort zone. That's it. You're doin' great."

** Practice. Get familiar with something new by talking to others more experienced. Set and perform little stretch goals and review your progress. Repeat.

**See the bigger picture. What else is going on around you? How big is this fear, in the context of other things in your life? What might be the result of taking a small step towards your fear?

**Remember to be amused by your Self now and then. We're just little fish in a big ocean: sometimes we hide in our caves and sometimes we swim.

P.S. Fear inside of love is probably one of the biggest fears of all. It starts and stops relationships, it creates interpersonal challenge and it probably starts war. I think there's something both humanistic and animalistic about this particular fear, but I'll have to muse on it some more.

Feel free to share your musings on the subject! Send to
spirit [at] spiralmuse [dot] org with the subject Suzanne musing.

© People in the world who muse about things. Like me and you.